Day 24: Wearing Bright Red Lipstick

color lips

This “new experience” seems especially daring because I wore it during the day. I might have been able to get away with it late on a weekend night, but no… I donned it in full natural light. At one of my usual coffee-work spots. Before noon, even.

When I ordered my drink, the guy behind the counter tried to look everywhere BUT my lips. I made sure to talk a lot more than usual.

“Cold and icy out there, huh?”

“It sure is. Make sure you don’t lip. SLIP! I mean SLIP!”

All right, so that’s a fabrication. He didn’t really say that. But had he tried to say something aside from, “That’ll be $3.48,” that’s probably what would’ve come out.

When my friend rolled in, however, her reaction was nearly as blog-worthy. Here’s a re-enactment:


ME: “Red lipstick. What’s the problem?”

Her, scraping back her chair and looking under the table.

ME: “What are you doing?”

HER: “Checking to see if you’re wearing fishnet stockings and faux snakeskin stilettos.”

ME: “It’s icy. I wouldn’t wear my stilettos in this weather.”

Her, face screwed up. Eyes like slits.

ME: “What?!?”

HER: “It’s not your color.”

ME: “What is my color, then, Madam Sephora?”

HER: “Chapstick.”

Sheesh.  You’d think I had been wearing a big letter “A” on my chest.

barbie A

It was just a little bit of bright red lipstick; it’s not like I was walking around nude.

As if! Like I said, it’s too cold for that.

(Where did I get this hideous color, you may ask yourself? Well, it was in the pharmacy’s 99 cent bin. I figured the kids could use it later to draw fake bloodstains on their bodies for Halloween.)

Anyway, I took a big slurp of coffee and put a napkin to my lips.  I pulled it away and inspected it. It looked like I had used it to apply pressure to a gunshot wound.

Maybe Chapstick is my color.
Each day of 2014, I’m forcing encouraging myself to have at least one new experience (and chronicling it to keep it real). If you’re interested in why–though I can’t for the life of me imagine anyone would be that bored–check out the “about” page.

3 thoughts on “Day 24: Wearing Bright Red Lipstick

  1. i have a friend, who on seeing me wearing red lipstick once informed me it was the wrong shade of red, and i should be wearing a blue based red and not a yellow based red. I didn’t even know there were so many shades of red available. Good on you for trying it out.

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