Day 24: Wearing Bright Red Lipstick

color lips

This “new experience” seems especially daring because I wore it during the day. I might have been able to get away with it late on a weekend night, but no… I donned it in full natural light. At one of my usual coffee-work spots. Before noon, even.

When I ordered my drink, the guy behind the counter tried to look everywhere BUT my lips. I made sure to talk a lot more than usual.

“Cold and icy out there, huh?”

“It sure is. Make sure you don’t lip. SLIP! I mean SLIP!”

All right, so that’s a fabrication. He didn’t really say that. But had he tried to say something aside from, “That’ll be $3.48,” that’s probably what would’ve come out.

When my friend rolled in, however, her reaction was nearly as blog-worthy. Here’s a re-enactment:

HER: “Hey, what’s….WHAT THE HELL IS ON YOUR LIPS?”

ME: “Red lipstick. What’s the problem?”

Her, scraping back her chair and looking under the table.

ME: “What are you doing?”

HER: “Checking to see if you’re wearing fishnet stockings and faux snakeskin stilettos.”

ME: “It’s icy. I wouldn’t wear my stilettos in this weather.”

Her, face screwed up. Eyes like slits.

ME: “What?!?”

HER: “It’s not your color.”

ME: “What is my color, then, Madam Sephora?”

HER: “Chapstick.”

Sheesh.  You’d think I had been wearing a big letter “A” on my chest.

barbie A

It was just a little bit of bright red lipstick; it’s not like I was walking around nude.

As if! Like I said, it’s too cold for that.

(Where did I get this hideous color, you may ask yourself? Well, it was in the pharmacy’s 99 cent bin. I figured the kids could use it later to draw fake bloodstains on their bodies for Halloween.)

Anyway, I took a big slurp of coffee and put a napkin to my lips.  I pulled it away and inspected it. It looked like I had used it to apply pressure to a gunshot wound.

Maybe Chapstick is my color.
____________
Each day of 2014, I’m forcing encouraging myself to have at least one new experience (and chronicling it to keep it real). If you’re interested in why–though I can’t for the life of me imagine anyone would be that bored–check out the “about” page.
Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Day 24: Wearing Bright Red Lipstick

  1. i have a friend, who on seeing me wearing red lipstick once informed me it was the wrong shade of red, and i should be wearing a blue based red and not a yellow based red. I didn’t even know there were so many shades of red available. Good on you for trying it out.

Post a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s