I’m on an airline site, hovering over the “confirm purchase” button. (Yes, that really is my finger).
By now it’s pretty apparent from past posts that I really want to go to Iceland. Well, fares are lower than they’ve been for quite a while (I know this because I signed up to get fare alerts, mainly to make myself feel like I was taking this blog seriously). But…can I actually make my shaking pointer finger click that “buy” button?
Envisioning the fallout is pretty damn easy. And it won’t be pretty.
Red flags will do cartwheels in my gray matter. My multiple personalities will engage in a full-out war: My one relatively stable personality–let’s call her, “Oh, Please, Get Real”–will fight for dominance. “Brash Risk-Taker” will whoop, arguing that it’s the best thing I’ve done in years. “Ms. Accountant” will drone on about the overall costs of the trip. And my “Annoying Soccer Mom” persona (she really needs to do something about that whiny voice and sweats wardrobe) will bring up how people in Iceland eat something called hákarl, which is code for dead, rotten shark meat.
Er, maybe Annoying Soccer Mom has a point.
Family will weigh in, uninvited. Aunt “Gertrude,” we’ll call her, will none-too-politely inquire (in her raspy I-smoked-too-many-Marlboros voice) about my sanity. She’ll want to know why would I willingly travel, in my condition, to a place that wraps its identity in pastimes such as ultimate dog-sledding and pick-axing glaciers.
Similarly, my best friend “Henrietta” will pull the psychoanalysis card…”Hmm… you dream of visiting a place that the friggen Smithsonian labels the “Most Dangerous Country.” Let’s explore this…”
Other family members and friends will tsk-tsk, and nod their heads in agreement. They’ll whisper behind my back and leave covert voice-mails for my husband. (Luckily he never checks the messages).
Regardless, my hand still hovers…
So what, exactly is the new experience here? It’s seriously–I mean, seriously–considering buying that ticket. Before it was all talk. Now I am poised, no matter how tentatively, for action… That’s a first.
It’s also the first time I am letting the warring factions of my multiple personalities battle it out. Usually “Oh, Please, Get Real” drowns out everyone else within 3 minutes or less…Sometimes she’s a real pain in the a**.
Each day of 2014, I’m
forcing encouraging myself to have at least one new experience (and chronicling it to keep it real). If you’re interested in why–though I can’t for the life of me imagine anyone would be that bored–check out the “about” page.